Failed Resolutions

I know it’s a bit too early to contemplate resolution failure but I’d thought I share some of the resolutions that I failed at miserably in years’ past.

1. Drink Less Coffee (2016)

I have a complicated relationship with coffee. I’m in love with the idea of drinking it; having fantasies of sipping the hot brew in a vintage coffee shop as I work tirelessly on some creative project. And, the weirdo that I am, I love the bitter taste of it on most days. Coffee isn’t coffee without some sharp sting that wakes me up on one of those slow mornings. But my body is in disagreement with my head on this one. My stomach starts to do some nervous mumbles and I become annoyingly antsy. I go through the motions of a heart attack when I drink a cup too many.

So, I decided to retire my body from those dire heart relays. When 2016 was announced with the ball drop, I swore to stop drinking the wicked brew.

I was doing good for a while. I negated my coffee cravings with cups of strong tea and I tried to devise other ways to get myself awake in the morning. But a little later, I started frequenting Starbucks and Roasterie with friends, indulging in cups of coffee for “special occasions.” I got a job that was surrounded by coffee samples and found myself indulging in it “just to see how it tasted” or “because I deserve it.” I bought instant coffee from my local grocery store to curb some of the costs of frequenting coffee shops. And, my all time low, I debated purchasing a coffee maker for my birthday. Luckily, I had the sense not to sink that far down the rabbit hole but it was clear at that point that I had woefully reneged on this resolution.

2. Exercise More (2014, 2015, 2016, 2017)

Every year. Every single year of my adult life, I promised myself that I would get off my lazy butt and exercise. I tell myself: Do a jog! Do some stretches! Get active!

And I sometimes do great for a good week or so but then I get lazy again. My innate couch potato habits from childhood surface and I find myself days on end doing nothing active.



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