Musings

My Personal Experience with Adulting

Sometimes I find myself looking in the mirror and wondering: How am I an adult?

I mean, seriously? How did this happen?!

It feels like just yesterday that my main goal in life was getting through the first Kingdom Hearts game.

Now, I got taxes, bills, a regular job and the weight of civic responsibility.

Like How?!

When did my life get so complicated? I look in the mirror and I still look like the same 16 year old girl wondering where I’ll be going to college. The same girl who scribbled dark prose in her notebooks. The same girl that if a stranger saw standing next to her sister, you’d swear she was the younger one.

I just don’t feel like much has changed as I traverse into my fourth year of adulthood. And it’s true, much hasn’t. I’m still 5’4, a nerd, a history and literature enthusiast, and have a knack for the awkward. I find that I can’t maintain a conversation to save my life and just having that perception persists spectacularly into adulthood.

The most tangible changes to me is my different taste in things. I like bitter coffee. I like bitter chocolate. I developed a surprising love of jazz and a most unfortunate obsession with satire and dark humor.

Perhaps the last is not so unfortunate but I sometimes surprise myself with how amused I am with how death and murder is brushed aside as a mere inconvenience or the amount of pleasure I take in seeing a favorite character’s downfall. I’ll cry my heart out but I love it all the more.

Nothing really spurred this general reflection other than casual existential musings.

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